We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize