yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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