He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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