I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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