a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
