how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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