Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
