this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
