I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize