Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
