great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize