Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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