So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is Oprah even human
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
