Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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