doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Someone shattered a urinal.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
