You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
