my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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