Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
