YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
