Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
