I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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