ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize