please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
