I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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