Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
