He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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