There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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