CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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