just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We were destined to go to rehab together
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize