I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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