Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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