Fine. I'll sleep in my office
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
