He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
