she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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