Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
