I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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