She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
