is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
