You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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