The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize