you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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