What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
