I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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