Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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