if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My pussy is not your playground.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
