why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
