Apparently you make a good broom.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
