careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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