It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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