Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
