Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She announced her abortion via fbk
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
