I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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