You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
