Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
