Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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