I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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