Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
"it" just moved
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
