at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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