Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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