I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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