If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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