I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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