can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
