took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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